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Blogs She Said Uncle Toms, Oreos, and Sell-Outs by Monique Brantly (revisited) | Uncle Toms, Oreos, and Sell-Outs by Monique Brantly (revisited) |
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| Written by Foresight | |
| Wednesday, 02 January 2008 | |
 Who are we trying to emulate? she said to me. ascots, sports jackets and boat shoes...I sometimes wonder and it makes me worry ...
She, is my friend. I specifically remember us strolling down my street on a cool, crisp autumn afternoon. I can't recall exactly how this subject arose, but I guess that's neither here nor there. What's important is the concern. Hers was a concern about disillusionment and self-image.
Most recently, about a month ago I had just exited the subway and was about to round the corner of my block when I heard "Miss" "Excuse me Miss, can I talk to you for a second?" I knew I shouldn't have turned around, but I was in a particularly good mood that day and the voice I heard didn't sound overly aggressive or suspiciously strung out, so I did. :::sigh::: I wasn't wearing my glasses, so I couldn't make them out very well, but the slender frame and lack of bass in their voice had a strange feminine quality to it. Either way, I wasn't interested in the first place. All I intended to do was acknowledge their presence, give a half-smile, say "sorry, I have to go meet someone," and keep it moving. I did. Well you would have thought that I had just smacked them and their mama in the face because my "admirer" turned stone cold and shouted back angrily "Well then F*ck you too you white B**ch" Now, aside from the fact that that kind of verbal terrorism always shakes me to my core (and it's a real shame that I can say "always"), what really struck me was this person's instinctive decision to call me white. Physically, I am anything but white, my hair is big and natural and my skin is brown. I uttered no more than three words to this person and my dress is nothing I would consider to be identifiable as stereotypically white. But a divide still remained. There was a clear difference between how I looked and spoke and how this person looked and spoke and I guess they categorized that difference as the social and racial difference between black (them self) and white (me). On the other hand, exercising flexibility and openness to embrace elements of the dominant culture for the purpose of learning, navigating, and possibly conquering, can be necessary for survival and success. Yet, the question always seems to remain, where do you draw the line? Another friend once told me that she knew a young man who had been growing his locks for a couple years and was told by his Black superiors at his internship (with a prominent Black Magazine even more ironically) that he either cut his locks off to "be professional" or lose the internship that he had, the housing that he had secured, and the flight that he had paid for to be in the city for the summer. He cut his locks. Comments
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Wonderful response Alvin. I completely agree with your stance on escaping hegemony and not falling victim to the stereotypes to seek to define and marginalize you. Your proposition for a focus on individualism intrigues me as well. You seem to propose (and correct me if I'm wrong) the alternative to the "playing by the rules" as my previous commenter suggested and it reminded me of a good (and rather militant) friend of mine who once told me that the system cannot be (and has not been) beat from within. She insisted that freedom comes to those who pave their way over, under, or around power structures that seek to oppress them. I guess I wrote this blog out of the frustration that comes from trying to reconcile the feeling that I must sometimes work within the nocent parameters that I am given and sometimes from without.
As people, we do what we do to make ourselves feel good about ourselves. That said, I don't believe ANYBODY does what they do, specifically fashion-wise, for themselves. Even those people that purposefully dress "eclectically" and claim to do for individuality's sake, are only doing so to convey the message that they are different.You can bet that if either 1) no one made a comment about how they dressed (for those with vain motivations) or 2) everyone (and I mean everyone...not just their circle of friends) dressed with the same "eclectic" mind-state...they would find a way to switch their steez.
In a nutshell, everyone's fashion motivations are based upon the perception of others. For some its to fit in with the norm (or what is expected) and for others its to differentiate from the norm. But regardless the case, if the message conveyed is not interpreted by the others the way the message sender intended for it...then conflict arises. I think the real issue is weak-mindedness...not necessarily writing off something for the sake of avoiding a stereotype. Copyright 2007. All Rights Reserved.       |
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| Last Updated ( Wednesday, 02 January 2008 ) |
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Do the Right Thing
Here lies the "Do the Right Thing" poster to remind people what they're supposed to do.
Besides, Black culture is the most amorphous of all ethnicities as it has no historical roots and is relatively undefined. There is no consensus as to what is Black behavior and what isn't, there are only capricious and wholly subjective opinions. I have personally chosen to eschew any notion that dares to define behavior that can be unequivocally labeled as Black. I propose that we all live our lives, not in a foolsih quest to remain within an arbitrary compass, but rather as individuals free from the binds of "keeping it real." That is what I call freedom.