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Girl, you MINE! by Monique Brantly (revisited)

Written by Foresight
Monday, 25 February 2008
Last weekend I spent approximately four excruciating hours waiting in Laguardia's airport terminal for a flight to Chicago that ended up being a total of six hours late (the last two hours were spent sitting on board the plane prying that air control would change its mind about canceling all West bound flights out of New York, which eventually it did). While I waited at my gate, I did what anyone who has an abundance of work and reading to do does in public spaces... I people watched. There were all sorts of interesting characters, some angry, some sleepy, some drunk, but about an hour into my spectating I saw them... Advertisements Halfway across the room stood a young couple in googly-eyed embrace. They were next in line at the check-in counter, but you would have sworn that they were in the middle of their own private romantic cruise. She was making squinty-eyed girly faces and he was caressing her head like he had never touched hair before. They could not keep their eyes or their hands off of each other. I could not keep myself from smiling at the endearing little scene and it got me thinking about young love...new, over-indulgent-stupid love to be more precise, and just how consuming it can be. A few days later, I returned home from my trip exhausted and ready to do all things mindless and lazy, so of course I turn on my under-used television and I just so happen to catch a new episode of Girlfriends. It's pretty much business as usual, sassy one-liners and cute wardrobe, when my attention was caught by a particular scene that brought me back to that young love moment that I had witnessed in the airport. The characters William and Monica had just gotten re-married and were in their new home living out their second honeymoon stage to the fullest. They started each day with a morning jog, followed by breakfast smoothie making; eating, reading, sleeping and even working together. They spent every waking (and not waking) moment up under each other. And so goes the wonder and stupidity of new love. You're exchanging ridiculous pet names, reciting very bad inside jokes, kissing and cuddling to sickening degrees, but after a while, just as William did, you begin to miss your space. What of the lone meditative jogs he used to take? What happened to poker nights with the fellas? And when will he ever have the solitude necessary to sit around in his draws and pick and scratch in publicly inappropriate ways? You don't just miss your space, you miss yourself. Of course, some folk don't mind getting a little (or a lot) crazy about love. But obsession is not healthy (or good for your career). So how do you reclaim and maintain yourself while still merging your life with this new person that you are so infatuated with? Well TV magic made it so that all William had to do was pick a fight to reclaim a bit of his alone time. He got away for a bit and when he was ready to come back and make it up to his boo, he found a woman who was not interested in making up just yet because she too had gotten reacquainted with her alone time. But that is scripted sitcom reality. I'm wondering how you maintain yourself in the midst of letting yourself be consumed by new love? Comments (6) ... written by wild cowgirl , October 26, 2007 i don't. i just become him. ...take on his name, social security number, address, and all things personal. look at me! i'm healthy! ... written by cuzzo , October 26, 2007 children complete each another; adults compliment each another. shrinks fill voids not spouses... ... written by Cep Evans , October 29, 2007 Luv is stupid MoMo... don't you know this. By all other accounts it's actually a sickness. What other thing can make otherwise completely rational intelligent humans lose all sense of reality. I mean...I don't know...do I sound jaded? ... written by Jackrabbit J , October 31, 2007 I personally cannot love. Love is not healthy for my career since my career entails rational thinking. Therefore, allowing love in my life will not only make me look like a fool jumping on a couch, but it will make me irrational, dropping me to the bottom rung of the ladder in my career. Eff love ... written by nicb , November 07, 2007 You look through facebook pictures and remind yourself of all the non domindian glow things you did before that fool got on your schedule..Then the AHA moment happens and you say..Oh yea..thats what group dinners/breakfast and parties with the girls looked like before I knew..before I knew how great his hug is. ... written by Lee , November 13, 2007 I've learned that strong marriages don't take away anyone's uniqueness. Rather, they affirm and preserve the things that made that person attractive in the first place. Too often we confuse uniqueness with independence. You're right, when two worlds merge, there must be interdependence, not independence. However, even in interdependence, there must remain space for differences in tastes, choices, space and time. I think it's healthy when my wife can chill at the mall while I go watch a game and neither of us feel guilty about it. That level of respect strengthens the relationship. Write comment Name Email Website Comment Copyright 2007. All Rights Reserved.
Last Updated ( Monday, 25 February 2008 )

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