Imperious Entertainment
| “That’s just my Baby Daddy!” by Tamerri Ater |
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| Written by Tamerri | |
| Tuesday, 26 June 2007 | |
  My dad and I on Father's Day So I was at the hallmark store buying my dad a father’s day card last week when this lady next to me says, “Now why are all the “like a father” cards gone? That’s a damn shame!” I felt a little slow because it took me a second to understand what she had just said but then I was like ooohhhhh….” ...like a father” as in my baby daddy is trifling so you are “like a father” to my kid(s) (we were in the Ladera Center, a primarily black shopping center in LA, you get the point)…ha ha, that was funny. Another girl and I laughed….but it really wasn’t funny. There was an abundance of father’s day cards but no “like a father cards left?” Suspect. Later that day, my brother, my friend, and I took our dad’s to dinner for Father’s Day. We got to talking about how appreciative we are that our fathers are in our life and how many of our friends either don’t really talk to their fathers or don’t know them. Excuse me, not just many but most. Then my brother made a comment that our generation is stepping up because most of his friends with kids are actually taking care of them! By golly! A man that actually takes care of his kids! Well I don’t know how true my brother’s statement was, but okay fine….but what about marriage? I know parents not being married is in NO WAY on the same level as not having a father in your life at all, but what is happening, excuse me, has happened to our society? More specifically, our community?  The whole father’s day thing really got me thinking about the black family structure. Black families are less likely to contain a married couple than all other groups (46.0% versus 81.0%). (Census 2000) Why is it that I can’t name one person my age with kids that is married? Why is it that I’ve been to a million baby showers and kid’s parties and not one wedding in the past couple of years? Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying a child can’t be raised lovingly by a single mother or when his/her parents are not married. I’m not being naïve to the current divorce rate and I don’t believe in staying in an unhealthy relationship just for a child’s sake. But am I wrong to still believe in marriage and building a lasting foundation with someone? Financially, spiritually, and emotionally? It doesn’t make sense to me when people give the following excuses for not being married when they say they are so in love and have or are ready to have kids: “We’re really not ready now,” “Financially this isn’t a good time”, “Most marriages these days end in divorce anyway”, “Marriage is just a title.” But you’re ready to have a child and take care of it financially for 18 years minimum?! Yeah a lot of marriages end in divorce but you have to play to win! And I think building a lasting relationship with someone you love and are compatible with is winning. It will be hard, but seeing elders like my grandparents who have stuck it out for 45 plus years, is such an inspiration to me. My grandmother always tells me “if a man can make a baby with you, he can marry you!” What do you think? Comments
(5)
B Rock & The Biz are classic!
this article is right on point. Great observations!
Our generation has grown to accept single parent homes and the term 'baby daddy or baby momma" are the things to be these days.. well atleast the ignorant people think so... but im glad u brought this article to life because lord knows us African-American Men & Woman need 2 step up and stop accepting these roles society are trying to brand on us and thats being nothing better than a "BABY MOMMA or BABY DADDY" but wanting 2 become a Mother & Father Husband & Wife and raise a FAMILY... my pops always told me a MAN is not a MAN until he has a Family & Provides and Supports for his family then a male can consider himself a MAN!!
... excellent topic T.Ater
It will be interesting to see if there is a correlation between the men of this generation who have been scorned by their fathers and the increase or decrease in their level of parenting their own kids. I know that I am dead set on making it a point to always be there for my kids and never let what happened to me happen to anyone else. I am curious if others feel the same....
You have the juice now
Copyright 2007. All Rights Reserved.       |
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| Last Updated ( Tuesday, 07 August 2007 ) |
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