Imperious Entertainment

"Tyra Banks and Naomi Campbell had a feud that lasted for years. They both admit the media blew it out of proportion because there could "only be one black supermodel"

This past weekend I was in the dressing room of a store when I overheard two women talking in the room adjacent to me…Friend #1: “No that bi!*h didn’t have the nerve to get that dressed up to come to the mall. She is not the business and I know she thinks she’s all that!” Friend #2: “I know, why is he with her anyway?” I couldn’t help but to eavesdrop, it was getting so good!

As a woman, scenarios like this one are not new to me. While in college, I made a documentary about Competition between women. I asked several women, of different races, questions about their experiences with other women and every single one of them had at least one story about another woman calling her out of her name and/or having a confrontation with them.  I also interviewed Men and Women’s studies professor Dr. Dionne Bennett; the general consensus about the key aspect of why women “compete” with each other was (rocket scientists start guessing)….MEN. Women’s studies professor, Dr. Dionne Bennett said, “Women are forced to compete indirectly, covertly and we are told that if we are competitive that we’re bad women. “I think that men exploit that, men know that women are competing for them and they profit from that competition. The more women compete for men, the more power we give men. At the same time men compete for women, but I think they compete on a different terrain. In a direct manner. They’re able to compete overtly and in a number of different arenas without being seen as morally compromised.”

Well said, Dr. Bennett. It seems that the first thing a woman does when she is threatened by another is insult her physical beauty because it’s worse to be unattractive than dumb, or a bad person, right? Unfortunately yes in this society. I’m sure most women are more threatened by Beyonce than Condoleezza Rice. Conversely, I could bet my life that more women want to look/be like Beyonce than Lil’ Condy also.

 Beauty is admired by both men and women and society feeds into this with the images we see everyday in the media. I hate to keep using Beyonce as a reference but think about Dreamgirls. Effie and Deena were all good, till’ shady Curtis came along to break up a happy home! And how many times have you heard a woman say, “I don’t have a lot of female friends, I just get along better with guys.” Ladies…Newsflash, this is not cute! You SHOULD be able to get a long with other women. As women we are taught by society and our mothers to look nice so we can find a man that will want to marry us. And if another woman looks better than you do, she’ll catch him first! “It’s a standard that is structured to make all women feel inadequate and we need to rethink why we’re participating in it,” said Dr. Dionne Bennett. With so many of our once eligible bachelors in prison, the pickins are slim and the problem seems to be getting worse. Jealousy is a natural trait that everyone has felt and will continue to feel at one time or another but the mistrust women, more specifically black women, share for each other is self destructive and detrimental to our progress as a group.

So this takes me back to the dressing room. If I could go back, I would say to these women, why must you be such haters! All of us women should stop competing over beauty and men because we will never win. There will always be someone cuter, someone smarter, and someone who dresses better; and at the end of the day all you have is your self esteem to protect you from the shallowness of the world. So smile at that beautiful young lady that brought out the insecurity in you, and what the heck, give her a compliment! She’ll thank you and you’ll fell better about yourself for spreading love and not hate.

 Tyra and Naomi are both FIERCE!!!!

Comments (4)

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written by Jamaar , August 20, 2007

Wowwww Jamaar Lamaar Holiday actually agrees with a blog on ImperiousEnt!!! Has anyone ever noticed that women like to rationalize being a hater by blaming it on the hatee? For example a woman might say something like, "look at how that bitch keeps looking over here like somebody want her man. Don't nobody want her weak ass man anyway!! She need to be concerned about that ugly ass dress she wearing, because it look like she stole a table cloth from a Mexican restaurant!!"

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written by Bridwash , August 20, 2007

I really enjoyed reading this!!! I agree with you; women should start loving themselves and each other. It is sad that women feel that they have to belittle others in order to feel good about themselves. Hopefully women will start to realize that it is okay to be who they are instead of trying to outdo every woman they feel threatened by.

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written by danny tanner , August 21, 2007

i have to agree with this article. i mean you never saw kimmy kibler hating on d.j. even though d.j. was cuter and smarter. but i do remember that one time when moesha and niecy were making fun of kim on her answering machine and that was messed up. i wish the world was different.

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written by zamaih , August 22, 2007

If I remember correctly Kim got mad at Moesha because she thought Moesha didn't think she was good enough for Hakeem. But kim proved the Mitchell's wrong when she got a different boyfriend and Hakeem got jealous when they were on a basketball retreat.

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