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Blogs Relationship Wars Men, Why Are You Acting So Brand New? by Tamerri Ater
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Blogs Relationship Wars Men, Why Are You Acting So Brand New? by Tamerri Ater | Men, Why Are You Acting So Brand New? by Tamerri Ater |
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| Written by Tamerri | |
| Monday, 16 July 2007 | |
In the past few weeks, excuse me years, I have had to emotionally support several of my friends that have gone through drama with their men. Now this is not an unusual thing, everyone has relationship drama at one point or another. But this is not the type of drama I’m talking about. I’m talking about the soap opera, call the po po’s or cousin Ray Ray right now drama. The type of drama that involves baby daddy’s, shacking up and (GASP!) Prison.
Unfortunately I think many of us have had to directly or indirectly deal with or help friends out in situations like these. So I ask the question, Men, WHY ARE YOU ACTING SO BRAND NEW? Why now, after so much is invested in the relationship, are you showing your true colors? Due to the sensitivity of the subject and the privacy of my friends who I love dearly, I will not give any details but let’s just say cheating, lying, and acts of aggression are involved. Now this is not meant to be a man bashing piece. Trust, I know women do their share of dirt. Stay tuned to next week’s expose on women behaving badly….I definitely think that most women and men attract a certain type of person; a lot of it has to do with his/her own relationship with their mother/father. One of my friends always dates thugs, not my cup of tea, but she thinks they are the best things around besides 22 inch rims! Another attracts the “Baller” who wines and dines her only to find out later that he’s morphed into a psycho maniac, control freak. But the problem is they always find out that this man is oh so wrong when it’s too late….after a baby, after they’ve lived together/gotten married, after he’s put his hands on her. So again, why are you acting brand new? Why ruin these women’s lives? In his mind he has to be thinking “yeah I got that now.” He knows he has her wrapped around his finger so he can go out and do whatever the hell he wants to do. Uh no player, it doesn’t work like that. I am sick and tired of answering my phone to hear someone I’ve known before the days of Cross Colours, crying hysterically about what her man did this week when a year ago she was flying so high in the sky on love she could have been Oprah’s private jet!
Why must these men break these women down and continue to humiliate them time and time again by sleeping around and disrespecting them in public. NO MORE EXUSES! So your father wasn’t around for your mother or you’ve been hurt before by a female and will never let another play you again. SO WHAT! You are only allowed a certain amount of mistakes in life before you need to step up and take responsibility for your actions! If your father wasn’t around when you were growing up or beat your mother in front of you, you have some serious issues you need to deal with before you can be in a committed relationship. Go to counseling and use that as motivation to be the man your father wasn’t. And to the women out there who have been in the type of relationship I am describing, STOP PICKING THE WRONG MEN! If you start to notice a pattern with the men you are dating, do some self evaluation and ask yourself why you are choosing these men. Stop looking for a man to complete your life.
Whitney sure knows how to pick em' Comments
(4)
You made some great points and your 100% right about how to pick the right person to spend your time or life with. But, only if things worked out that way in life people get fooled and trapped in situations that are really hard to get out of. And love is a motherfucker, lol. But all in all women and men need follow the rules on how to pick someone.
Hey this was a pretty good article, but if you have a boyfriend I feel sorry for that guy!! There's no question about who wears the pants in your relationships!!
angelina wears the pants with brad
I don't consider this 'men acting brand new' but women failing to pick up on or realize that the men they are dating are actually jerks. The same actually works vice versa; your significant other hasn't changed, odds are they were always like that. As it's stated in the article, certain women go after these specific guys (the baller, the player, the thug) and then months or years later are wondering why their hearts are broken or why things aren't working out. Could it be that the things that attracted a women to the man are the same things tearing the relationship apart? Or maybe the lady was too infatuated with the man, too in love with the idea of having that thug, that she refused to open her eyes to his true nature. In abuse cases, how does it start? I'm sure that if a man slapped a woman on the 2nd or 3rd date because of a disaggreement the relationship would have been canceled, but what about a push or shove? What about when the guy tells the lady what not to wear? Or looks down upon her spending 'too much' time with friends? Why are instances like this overlooked? Why date a piece of sh!t with piece of sh!t aspirations and then complain that he ended up being a piece of sh!t? I almost refuse to believe that men instantly change into control freaks, or come out of no where and beat their significant others, the tell-tell signs are definately there before hand, and i think it's about time for the ladies and gentlemen out there to own up to the fact that they got what they chose (maybe it's a matter of investing too much into a person that you fail to recognize relationship ending faults). But I digress from the point at hand. So hmm, what would cause a man to 'change?' One thing that comes to mind is that alot of women have unrealistic views of that 'perfect man' or 'soul mate' who they are searching for. Why? Things like that don't exist. We live in the real world, so why do women constantly hold men up to this unrealistic standard; I think that because of this some men may hide parts of who they are in attempt to come off more appealing to the woman he is courting. Hell i've done it (but in my on case I see it more as being pleasant to the person I want to be with... why would I want to treat her like shit?). As for women and men attracting a certain kind of person, I think that has to do with one's lifestyle. If I constantly look for dates at the bar or some nightclub, odds are I'm going to get the same type of woman. Moving on, I am sure that people are attracted to a certain type of person but like Tamerri said, people seriously need to evaluate what they need and want in their significant other; what he or she is looking for may not be what is best for him or her. This leaves me with the thought, you can't have your cake and eat it too. So, who's fault is it for finding out too late that a love interest is not the one for them? And what makes it too late? I honestly think that life is too short to worry about 'late.' Live life and be happy, if you're not happy move on. Lastly I want to throw in, if you're continually being humiliated by your lover, why are you with him or her? "NO MORE EXCUSES!!" Leave the person already. You give up your power when you play the role of a helpless victim and invite more of that behavior to happen. Both men and women need to 'notice the pattern' while they are dating. I think people should definitely be friends before they move on to something serious and like Tamerri said, "stop looking for someone else to complete your life."
Copyright 2007. All Rights Reserved.       |
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| Last Updated ( Wednesday, 25 July 2007 ) |
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