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Blogs For Women, SIZE Really Does Matter by Drew Stewart (revisited) | For Women, SIZE Really Does Matter by Drew Stewart (revisited) |
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| Written by Drew Stewart | |
| Friday, 11 January 2008 | |
The first thing men need to understand is that men and women keep score differently. In men’s testosterone-saturated world, bigger is inherently better. So, naturally, men assume that over-the-top, ostentatious expressions of love rack up the most points on women’s scorecards. Too often, men believe that they can score high marks with a woman by keeping her in the lap of luxury. Nothing could be further from women’s reality. I’m sure the women reading this have all met (and probably dated) this man before—the loaded lothario who attempts to win their heart with deluxe dinners at swanky five-star restaurants, mini-shopping sprees, or invitations to trot the globe. While the sugar daddy figure may be appealing at the outset, the routine tires quickly leaving most women unfulfilled. Women should actually pity this type of man—for he knows not what he does.
Both options involve the exact same quantity of water, but Option 1 forces the lily to endure prolonged dry spells leaving the lily unsure of when, and if, the gardener will tend to its needs again. Option 1 is the equivalent of a boyfriend taking his girlfriend out to a Broadway show at the beginning of the month and to a concert to hear her favorite music artist two weeks later while completely neglecting her emotionally and physically for the remaining 28 days of the month. On the other hand, Option 2 provides the lily with constant attention and care. The lily is continually nourished by the gardener’s tender expressions of love and repeatedly affirmed by the gardener’s unwavering commitment four times a day. Which option is more likely to result in a robust, fulfilled flower? Watering it with two great deluges over the course of 30 days? Or 120 calculated, conscious watering sessions over the same 30-day span? Comments
(21)
Amen and Amen brotha...suggestions and metaphors and ALL.
Bravo! This is SO true: One of my favorite "gifts" was an email with the picture of a beautiful flower that came at exactly the right time during a bad day. i printed it, cut it out and tacked it to my office wall. HUGE points! I have to take exception the statement a $3 rose is the same as $3,000 diamond necklace though. The latter is only appropriate way into the relationship (engagement or later)- I would be very put off if i got something like that too early on, like the person was being either extremely insecure or presumptuous. Either way the rose is better if you're still in courtship mode.
...drew stew does it again! i likes...and ditto @ not your average model & andrealuquetta
:)
I think this is very true men do look at the larger picture of things, especially when it comes to themselves. But to say that women in general only care about the small acts of love and admiration... i totally disagree. There are women who I've delt with that just dont know how to appreciate all of the small things I've done for her. These things may put a smile on her face, but they will forget it right after the act. Women i have delt with seem to remember the other things, Especially if its something out of the ordinary. No, I am not the short, over weight, unatractive gentleman. I am attractive and have a great social life, to say the least. Its just that when women find a man who will do those things for them they seem to not react to the smaller sentimentals acts, women like to be played so they can have something to complain to their girlfriends about. When will women show that they appreciate these acts of kinds you mention? I have done many of those and get the same reaction... im very creative when it comes to showing how i feel about the woman.
Yeah I agree with you men do look at the bigger acts of kindness, especially when a woman does something for them. However, When a woman realize they have a man who will give them that attention everyday... they get scared and dont know what to do. A lot of women dont know what to do when it comes to a man who cares...they back away. I'm not sure if some women are ready for a man who cares, who thinks about them throughout the day, sends a random e-mail just to say hi, asks how your day has been, shows up with your favorite flower, doesn't mind you falling asleep on his chest, or kisses them when his friends are around, etc. I'm just not convinced. -Be Cautious... Real Man Ahead!
Too true brother... I know I have been the "solver" of problems and might not have listened and empathised as much as I should have... All women need is a sounding board most times and not someone "trying to be her daddy" (As much as I hate to hear that statement).. and the little things are what we usually get dinged for not doing.. through and applicable.
Real talk...Drew...the small things do count the most...and quality is better than quantity...
LOVE IT MAN! stuff like this reminds me to keep it fresh. been married over 4 yrs and it gets better daily thanks to the little things...keep 'em comin big man.
sooooooo true!!! Gotta love you for this one Drew!!!
Good stuff Stew. When do you have time for OCI?
I just read Be Cautious' post. Thats unfortunate for him. U gotta make sure the woman really cares about you first. Not just 'like' but actually 'care'.
Matta fact, my response to this post is that, yeah its true that men alotta times don't know about the innerworkings of a woman's mind. but it's also true that alotta men dont care to know. even the men who are in relationships sometimes are in situations where they 'like' their girlfriends, but don't know how to really 'care' about them. Caring means consideration on many levels. Kinda like how our family and friends care about us. A lot of men do not know how to care about the women in their lives, for whatever reasons. thats why when some men actually start caring, they get all sprung and start acting crazy. i've dated many men who have done the small gestures thing, but it seemed so empty. kinda like running game. alotta players do that kinda thing, so it is critical to be genuine. it's also critical to do these kinds of things for the right person, at the right time. TIMING is everything. u guys should know that by now. that is all.
Excellent blog! I have one point to add/emphasize. A man has to make sure that the acts of kindness are appropriate for HIS woman. As Jess wrote, players have the small, sweet gestures down pat. A man really does have to pay attention to the uniquely interesting facets of his significant (and she should be significant if he's devoting the time and attention) other's personality. For example, I HATE roses. A man would get much more kudos by giving me lilies, and orange lilies would be a huge bonus -- which reminds me, nice story/metaphor/pic.
And to Be Cautious... Real Man Ahead!: I think you're either giving too much too soon, or you just need to start finding REAL women to date. Don't give up. We're out there!
Good stuff man.....but I still think that women have to be able to understand about the ball game lol! Everything else is straight.
Fantastic!
Great picture - and yes, I agree with what you said, though (and not to sound material) the "deluge" of water on occassion is not a bad thing. Of course, the tortoise and the hare taught us that slow and steady wins the race :)
so on point Drew. spread the knowledge - it really doesn't require much. just match your behavior to your words and make us feel appreciated and important and we're happy girls. keep up the good work :o)
while i understand the analogy of the flower, drew do you mean to suggest that women are not required to do anything but grow beautifully?
if i would add anything to the conversation, I'd want to add that these things require reciprocity.
Wow, you said everything a real woman wants to hear. I believe it works both ways. The same thing that a man needs to do for his woman, then the woman needs to recipricate it back to him. I personally think that for a true relationship to work one must search within themselves to know what they want and be patient and know when it comes. Don't never go looking!
This is good analogy but it over simplifies one of the most difficult aspects of human interaction. Men and Women are different and we express our feelings differently. All men can’t and won’t learn how to express themselves the way women express feelings. Men like big expressions of love and assume you do too. (if you get us tickets to the superbowl we’ll never forget it) Men do the things they do because they think from a man’s perspective. What both Men and Women should learn to do is code switch and learn to speak the other’s language. Men cannot bear this burden of code switching alone (as this blog suggest) and it would be detrimental for women to expect them to. Especially when the guys who speak women’s language the best usually use it to the disadvantage of women (players). For the most part men are stupid when comes to understanding what makes women happy. For this reason it is up to the smarter sex to realize what his way of expressing love is and learn to appreciate it. Or else you fall prey to men who speak your language just right but don’t truly care for you.
Nice job...very indicative of a true man...there's nothing wrong with wanting to do the "big" things for a woman, but that is not all that matters...money is great, but love is better...=)
 written by wal_ker05 , October 05, 2007
YOU PROBABLY HAVE A SMALL PENIS! that's odd for a "brotha".
-Justin W.  written by nate , January 17, 2008
Drew, this was really well done. It's good to see another brother out there with excellent character traits such as yours. God bless you sir.
Copyright 2007. All Rights Reserved.       |
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| Last Updated ( Friday, 11 January 2008 ) |
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