Imperious Entertainment

I won’t assert that as a whole I believe the Black community is homophobic; I’ll let you be the judge. Regardless of whether it’s on a small, medium, or large scale…homophobia is alive and well in our communities, rich or poor, educated or uneducated. Just try taking your little brother or nephew to cheerleader tryouts, dressing him in a spring pink suit next Easter, allowing him to play with the latest Mattel dolls, or even watch him drop it like its hot to Beyonce’s latest…thoughts start forming in our minds while words like PUNK and FAGGOT start flying out of someone’s mouth. Furthermore, I believe that Black men for whatever reason are called to exude a higher level of masculinity than other racial and ethnic groups, which further perpetuates an issue that goes much deeper than one’s personal sexual preference. Honestly brothers, when you have a little junior baking in the oven, are you praying for a healthy baby boy or a heterosexual healthy baby boy? Think about it, in a society where many pastors are preaching NO and laws, internal thoughts, and external expressions say HELL NO, I might be able to grasp how the brother who’s leading a double life might be resistant to coming out of the closet. On the other hand…it’s not fair, it’s not right, and people’s lives and livelihood are at stake if they stay in and resume business as usual with their female partners.

What I will assert is that even if I am unable to whole-heartedly sympathize, I can understand why so many Black males in such a position would feel trapped between two mountains! I’d like to start a Come out the Closet Revolution, so that we all can be free and happy, but the likeliness of such happening is not realistic. Is homosexuality a little more openly accepted in other racial/gender groups in America? Is it easier for the Black man to maintain that dual role as a heterosexual boyfriend/husband while living a secret life? Why is it so difficult for men to just come out of the closet, and does society, specifically Black communities perpetuate this difficulty?

Am I saying that we should all just be gay-rights activist or even rearrange our religious and moral beliefs…NO! However, I am compelled to encourage an in-depth discussion while getting individuals to consider how blatant homophobia or indirect yet displayed homophobic tendencies is impacting an issue that probably deserves much more thought, discussion, and addressing than it received. Although there are more pressing issues for some to entertain, for the young Black female between the ages of 21-35, this just might be something on the radar. Indeed I along with many others have expressed dating fears because the thought of falling in love with a man, marrying him, giving birth to two love children, just to find out that he’s on the Down Low ten years later and has infected me with AIDS furthers my subconscious choice to remain single. One might argue that the issue isn’t really an issue or as bad as it might seem…but is that the case? One might argue that homophobia in the Black community as a whole is non-existent…but is that that case? One might argue that I’m the only one who immediately sees that awesomely attractive, well-educated gentlemen, then automatically forms a huge brick wall because I’m subconsciously asking myself, “I Wonder If He Dates Women…Too?”

Comments (6)

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written by Drew E Stewart , August 28, 2007

It's unfortunate, but a lot of the women I met at Spelman believed a man is "questionable until proven straight." (probably a good assumption when dealing with Morehouse Men). The difficult part with this statement is that, just as in science, a woman will never be capable of proving a negative (i.e., the non-existence of a man's homosexuality). They can only prove that he sleeps with men, not that he has not or never will. This perpetual uncertainty leaves many relationships on shaky ground and women in a constant state of worry. Ultimately, women have to put their faith in a power greater than themselves and trust that even if their significant other is gay, it's all a test that should be used to grow into a stronger person.

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written by Jenae Shari , August 28, 2007

I know that religion and beliefs aside, I believe homophobia is a huge epidemic in the black community. It would seem as though being gay, or gayness, has equated to weakness and inferiority. While many men and women in all communities wish for a healthy heterosexual baby boy, whether they realize it or not, let's hope that the continued conversation brings light to the real issue: live your life, your entire life, in truth and there will never be reason to hide.

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written by Brandi , August 28, 2007

Yorri...you never cease to amaze me with your DEPTH of knowledge and introspection. I ALWAYS leave a Yorri blog either feeling inspired or in deep thought. Keep up the good work.

~IGNINMA

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written by etnahc , August 29, 2007

...well-written & a great read indeed...i empathize with everything that you have written. i still have hope that i will marry a man that is truly heterosexual AND faithful at the same time...well...a little....

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written by Bernard , August 30, 2007

About “heterosexual-homo sex.” I contacted and met with a MD and PhD at the Harvard School of Public Health regarding this past spring. Our conversation was rather enlightening. He said a lot of things we already know.

1)Men tend to be more hyper-sexual than women. Hence, when you have two men together what’s to stop them?
2)He said its not that men who engage in homosexual sex are necessarily gay, it’s that with men, it’s a lot easier to engage in sex because of that hyper-sexual nature. He went on to mention that this proven. Men think about sex more often than women, our partner count is usually higher.

Gay women have less diseases and STDs because it’s vaginal. He said the “penis” causes all the problems. And it’s true.

Furthermore, he went on to say, this is why in heavy men concentrated environments you tend to either 1. Have a lot of gay men or 2. Have a lot of men who have sex with each other but aren’t gay. I.e. Rome. (He mentioned) Being a graduate of Morehouse I am aware of this, which I may add is aMESS!!!! But also, look at priests , that’s why they are sleeping with each other…..

He essentially said if women were equally as hyper-sexual and willing to engage in sex more often then the men who are straight would not engage in homosexual sex. The thesis of his message- gay sex is more accessible and this is why men do it – black, white, Latino, etc.

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written by Ametra , September 02, 2007

This is a big issue in our community. Our ancestors were not like this. You first need to research how and where this come about. Now it has trickled down to our community. I don't believe asking a man if he dates women is wrong. No question is wrong as long as you believe it's worth asking. I just think about my life. If my mom and dad weren't together I wouldn't be here. There is no balance in a woman dating a woman, and a man dating a man. I don't discrimminate, but I also so believe in a balance between a woman, and a man. Just like North, South, East, West, Tall, Short, and I could go on. Where there is no balance you will have consequences.

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